update update!!!

Okay.. this post is written in English because it's so much faster to type in English i think.. and I can't really allow more time for myself to sit in front of my laptop anymore.. the longer i face my laptop, the more time wasted for facebook, youtube, smh, yahoo7, etc etc.... i need to be more organised and study according to the timetable i've already set two weeks ago and yea.. so far so good i think, except that I could've study more actually, by sacrificing my entertainment time! haha. but i think i wouldn't do that... i don't want to be a nerd.. unless... the exam that i'll be taking is really important.. and i am at the pass fail borderline for some reasons... as usual, i'm pretty confident that i will pass all the subjects. to pass is never a problem for me, but to get a better grade is always what i'm struggling at. for most people, pass is already good enough but for me, if i can do better, i will definitely want to do it. well, i think my standard shouldn't be just constrained within a pass. it's just a matter of self-satisfaction. once you do well in one exam, you always want to do better in another exam, or at least maintain your standard, to prove that your previous success is not just luck, but because you can do it, and you have the ability to it. haha. sounds very complicated i think...

basically this week can be considered as a study week for me, not much classes to attend. one quiz, two assignments due but all is done at the beginning of the week. kendo training today was good, except that i wasn't feeling well. i feel that my stamina has deteriorated since the last training on saturday. i think that was because i've been studying too much, lack of exercise, lack of nutrients, lack of motivation.. could be due to a couple of reasons haha. after the warm up session, and while we were doing some routine cuts, i started to feel the dizziness and want to vomit, well, not the first time already, the last time i had the same feeling was on last year one of the trainings, also near the exam period. haha it's just weird the symptoms came back after few months. i'm not pregnant of course, i suspect it's because of lacking of sleep but its not a really valid reason since i do sleep 7-8 hours per day.. don't know why.. i shall call it my 'pre-exam syndrome' maybe. haha. so.. before all the 'stars' came out, i decided to stop and take a short break, resume training after that. hmmm... i didn't really do well today.. missed a lot of cuts, wrong timing, footwork etc.. i wasn't really pay attention to each cuts today, i don't know what's the purpose of cutting today, i cut... just because i was told to cut... i didn't think of how to improve my cuts each time like what i usually do... i tried to finish all the cuts quickly so that i get to rest a bit while waiting for everyone else to finish their cuts... everything seems very bad today... i don't know why...

okay.. then till the jigeiko session, sarted to feel more energetic and motivated.. the first guy i played with.. i don't know why again.. he didn't move a lot, most of the time i initiated my cuts, and got counter-attacked by him in the end... i know i'm slow... but... aihh.. i didn't even get the chance to learn how to 'receive' cuts... haha. good thing was.. he opened up his men, and let me make the cuts on him sometimes... not very often, like he got 10 points and i only got 1 point from the cuts haha.. but that's okay.. good try anyway.. 2nd one.. not much to say.. basically just like a normal jigeiko... i'm still lack of zanshin.. i can see he was frustrated with my cuts sometimes.. but i tried and tried... still.. he is too good for me to manage to score a point from him.. even if i managed to land my cut on him, it was just luck lol. then i played grace.. i like to play her, no pressure and she tells me a lot of stuffs, like how to improve my cuts etc.. i was trying to keep my center... center center... but people still can break my center easily.. don't know why again.. until grace told me... you got to move! keeping center doesn't mean just stand there and don't move!! whoever move gets the center!!! That time i was like Ohhhh... yea, i tried to hold my shinai in center and i didn't realise that people move and my center is gone... haha.. what a good lesson learnt... thanks grace!

hmmm.. look like this is a super long post.. but it only took me like.. 20minutes haha.. not bad not bad.. i shall keep writing in english until exam ends..... =)